Anatomy of a Love Story

I think that love stories in today's entertainment, for the most part, suck; it seems that we are more in love with the chase, not the prize.

If you go to jumptheshark.com, you'll find a concept borne from a former University of Michigan student's fascination with one question: at what point do all our favorite TV shows hit their absolute best, after which it's all downhill from there? The phrase "jumping the shark", by the way, comes from an episode of "Happy Days" where Fonzie is waterskiing in swimtrunks AND his black leather jacket. He ends up going off a waterski jump on the beach, sailing clear over an ominous shark fin, and sticks the landing. It was the moment that Happy Days began its steady descent into declining ratings and relevance.

What this has to do with love stories is this: Jump the Shark has a category called They Did It, which means that after the main character(s) get together/sleep with each other, all dramatic tension is gone from the show, and it only gets worse afterward. I think of the old '80's drama "Moonlighting," the show which made Bruce Willis a star, and how his and Cybill Shepherd's characters' romance signaled the beginning of the end. No one was interested once the romantic leads actually became a couple.

This is what I mean when I say that we're thrilled with the chase, but we're bored when we actually catch our object of affection. If you've ever been married, think of all the comments you heard from friends and family about a ball and chain, boredom, loss of freedom, and the like.

Currently, I'm a huge fan of "Chuck" on NBC...an action/comedy with spy and sci-fi elements. Nearing the end of its second season, it seems like the two leads, Chuck and Sarah, are forever locked in a "will they/won't they" scenario, where they can't be together for various reasons, but are obviously attracted to each other. The worry seems to be that they'll pull a "Moonlighting" and the show will deteriorate if they ever got together.

Entertainment is one thing, but do we do the same in our own lives? Are we tempted to think that once we are committed to someone, that the security of one person means less than the possibilities with many others?

I think it's human nature to be frustrated or bored with a significant other at times. Some of us, however, are better at appreciating our loved one's uniqueness than others. In a world where more than half of all marriages fail, I'd venture to guess that many will be angry or bored at our spouse, when in reality we need a major maturity check.

If our image of love is the dating process, or sexual tension, then how can we help but feel let down once we actually commit to/marry someone? In truth, the hard work of a marriage reaps great rewards...though not everyone can handle that responsibility. Maybe for them, it's better to perpetually stay in the race, lest they think their lives will "jump the shark" once they commit.

I wish for stories, real and imagined, to portray the real excitement and challenge of love: commitment and security. In past decades, our sitcoms had families. Now, we have hordes of attractive singles. It seems all the enjoyment comes in our youth, if we go by fiction.

I suspect that one aspect of The Forever Saga that will become more prevalent than expected will be the love story between Jason and Alessa. Anyone who's read the 7-chapter excerpt of Forever-Flash will know that the two of them are best of friends, but the promise of more has never lined up. Rather than use that as dramatic tension, the Forever books will portray them as a committed couple whose best adventures happen AFTER the angst and flirtation of "will they/won't they". It should no longer be good enough for us to romanticize and idealize the chase, when so many of us lose the real race to bickering, bitterness, adultery, separation, and divorce later on.

The ideal is to develop ourselves into people who can foster warm, accepting relationships with others, and attract people with the same standards. Instead of being ill-prepared for the struggle of intimacy, we can assume it'll take all we've got, and refuse to be surprised when we come across hardships in love. The real goal is not to avoid pain, but to learn how to accept the bad with the good, and to love one another all the same.

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