Are You There, God? Am I Even There, God?

For being a believer in Jesus, I've certainly done my own thing pretty often.

Some people grow up in the church. Others find God later on. Some get wounded by religion and stay far away from it. Some are on the fence, aside from knowing to avoid religion - and politics - at the dinner table. Then there's some remote tribes who've never heard of organized religions but usually have some kind of deity or belief system.

Me? Well, God came to me in high school, followed by an immense rush of growth and acceptance from pretty much everyone around me. And then, well, the rush kind of wore off. Going to church, reading the Bible, talking about God, went from fresh and exciting to familiar and routine. After a succession of incredible highs, there was a settling down, and I still struggle to understand that.

After a high school mission trip to Mexicali, knowing Jesus and being a Christian was a conscious pursuit that was effortless. Then I got baptized. Then I learned about Communion. Then my religious activities in college multiplied. All spiritual highs in a short amount of time.

But if there's anything that I've learned, it's that being a Christian is not only about milestones and feel-good memories. There is loss and confusion. There is rejection. There is disappointment, and a letdown. I've had wonderful friends and mentors move away from me (and me from them). I've had friendships go bad. I've failed before in leadership. I've experienced emotional, spiritual, and physical pain that have yet to go away, or be explained.

When I add all of that up, I see a greater need for God than ever. Many of you would think about your own life and agree. The question is, do we give God the time of day?

In the United States, we have access to wealth and resources that perhaps 98% of the world does not. Those include lots of distractions. We have iPods that give us complete control of the music we listen to, more accessible than ever before. We have phones that let us reach others, and vice versa, wherever we are. We have the Internet in everything from phones to computers to TVs, a source of endless knowledge and entertainment.

But doesn't it seem that all these toys we have - the things that promise to let us do things faster so that we can get on with life - actually give us little time to breathe? Growing up mostly without God allowed me to fill my time with endless distractions and entertainment, so giving up a large portion of my years-honed routine to God is still hard. How about for you?

When I am honest with myself, I realize that instead of surfing the Internet for hours to numb my mind, I can talk to God about some of my daily things. I can get comfort from Him when the things I want most seem furthest away. I can be joyful in talking to God about something maybe no one else would understand.

Too often, praying and worshiping God is seen as a chore. But we must be careful of projecting our other relationships onto God. In other words, if your father was distant or strict, you wouldn't be in much of a hurry to spend time with him, and you'd be more likely to see God in exactly the same way. But it isn't like that.

For everyone who's given God an honest chance, I see more hope, more recovery, more joy, more redemption. Warren Buffett put it best: "Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future." Before parting the Red Sea and leading the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses murdered an Egyptian. Before writing a good portion of the New Testament, Paul was perhaps the harshest punisher of early Christians. That doesn't mean they were any less awesome; it means that no matter our past, we can have a great future.

I realize that in my thoughts and doings throughout the day, I don't share enough with others. It is understandable given some of the heartache and partings I've experienced, but with God there is hope for my true self to shine through.

The greatest gift to all mankind is simply something that can erase our worst and turn it into our best. A way to confront our failures instead of ignoring our drowning them out in distractions. A way to be the very best version of ourselves as often as possible. A way to live and die without fear. That is the potential I see when I think of God.

So...are you there, God? Of course, you always are. Am I there with you? Not always, but the sky is always brighter when I am.

The Forever Saga Facebook Page Forever on Twitter